I know, it’s not even November yet but if the television, the department stores and the neighbors across the street can push the holiday season ahead of schedule then I have a duty to point out a few obvious holiday preparations that all writers must undertake.
There are some accepted ideas about the holidays that seem to say one thing but to us writers mean something entirely different. I’m going to take this week’s Reset Sunday column to examine some of those “accepted ideas”, define what they really mean and suggest a solution….here we go….
- Holidays are for family – What this really means is that we are about to be invaded, and because the invaders are “family members” we have to accept it. My writer’s suggestion…start a large writing project this Monday, that way you will be knee deep in it right about the time everyone arrives….repeat after me…”but honey, I’m on deadline”….
- Holidays are all about the food – What this really means is that you have to feed everyone who comes through the door. My writer’s suggestion…now’s the time to try out being a vegetarian. (for just a month or so) Nothing sends people screaming from your home faster than offering them tofu.
- Holidays are all about the kids – What this really means is that you have to deal with your siblings screaming little monsters. My writer’s suggestion…the first night they are there tell them an incredibly scary story about how Santa is really a serial killer who just can’t decide which kid to kill off so he leaves toys for the ones he’s looked over to remind himself who to come back for. Guarantee the next morning they will be begging their parents to take them home.
These are just a few of the “accepted ideas” for the holidays and the solutions that will ensure that next Christmas everyone heads for your sister’s house in Topeka. The holidays are great as long as the television works and there is no one standing between the fridge, your beer and the leftovers WHILE the football game is on, so get those scary stories ready…..
© The Writer’s Advice, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.
October 30, 2022 at 1:06 am
LOL…wonderful suggestion Jai.